001: The Start of Something New
In this first episode, I share the story behind The Rebuild Lab — how the loss of my wife, Lani, led me to this moment, and why I’ve created this space for men navigating grief, change, and challenge.
This isn’t just a podcast about loss — it’s about what comes after. About starting again, building strength, and living with purpose.
Whether you’ve lost someone, something, or just feel a shift happening in your life… this is a place for you.
Listen above, or read the full transcript below.
Transcript – 001: The Start of Something New
Grief. What a bitch. About seven and a half weeks ago, I lost my wife, Lani, to cancer. She was 43 years old. We’d been married for two years and together for seven. It’s something I was never prepared for. As we progressed through the battle with cancer, we stayed positive. Lani—if you knew her—was the most positive person in the world. We never thought it would take her life. It wasn’t something we ever spoke about. We didn’t want to. But she passed on the 9th of April, and I had to deal with that grief—and I didn’t know how. That’s part of why I built this podcast. I wanted to get back into coaching—something I’ve done for 15 years—and help others through what I’m learning. As I looked around for inspiration, the only thing I could find about men dealing with grief was on TV. Take Ricky Gervais' *After Life*. Brilliant show, but it portrays grief as spiralling into depression, drinking, eating poorly, becoming suicidal. And that wasn’t the path I wanted to take. That’s not what Lani would’ve wanted for me. She always wanted the best for me. She called me into my full potential every day—and called me out if I wasn’t living up to it. So I wanted to grow stronger. I didn’t want to get close to the edge of depression. I didn’t want to numb myself with alcohol or crap food or poor sleep. Instead, I started focusing on rebuilding myself with tools that supported me—tools that helped me feel better, process emotions, and stay grounded. That’s what this podcast is for. I’ll be sharing the tools that gave me strength during a dark time. Every day I wake up and walk my dogs. I get out into nature. I cry when I need to. I feel the emotion fully—I don’t block it, distract myself, or numb it. I cut back on social media. I avoided music or TV shows that triggered sadness. I chose to rebuild. This is for any man going through something similar. Whether you’ve lost a partner, a child, a sibling, a parent—whatever your story—I hope this space helps you look at grief differently. When I met Lani, we moved in together within a month. We travelled the world, built a business together, worked out, ran together, ate out, went to the cinema. We were best friends. We did everything together. And just like that—it changed. This podcast will mostly be solo episodes like this. Talking about grief, masculinity, health, purpose, and growth. I’ll also bring on guests—people who’ve rebuilt, or have insights into what makes men stronger. In the next episode, I’ll talk about six things I did in the first six weeks after Lani passed that really helped. I feel I’ve handled this better than I could’ve imagined—and that’s down to her. She was a coach, a life coach, and everything she lived and taught helped prepare me. So thank you for listening to Episode 1 of The Rebuild Lab Podcast. You can find all the episodes, blog posts, and more at www.therebuildlab.com. And if you ever need anything, feel free to message me.
